Monday blue #part 1

If everytime I feel blue and wanted to tell the world, you can be sure to find it out on this blog every monday. Work is beginning to take its toll on me lately, I felt that I cannot boost like when I'm working last time. It feels like I already know what's going to happen in my field of work and there's no more excitement left. Nobody wants to have a predictable life, neither am I! Everyone wants an explosive event, everybody wants a freaking ironic incident to take his/her life a step further.

Put me for instance, woke up today after a great weekend, preparing to work and tell myself that I will drive slowly on my way, coz I am more or less know what's going to happen on Monday for my job, because weekend there was no phone call, so it's safe to assume that production line will have only some 'minor' incident which requires engineering judgement and disposition, followed by the little report my boss is asking me to pump for him for his weekly update to management today, continue to provide update on the latest progress on all my project and action item, further monitoring on customer issue, more reports to be done this week for the ISO certification... bla bla bla.

I wonder what happened to my thinking process, not sure whether this job is too simple or too difficult to handle. Or maybe I'm lacking one of the few key attributes to achieve job satisfaction. Or maybe I should ask myself, what I really want in life, is it because my company cannot satisfy my needs? Probably true enough, there is always not enough regardless of what you do / what you want.

I think I realized that my current life is far from my ideal dream. Many wondereful things happened but that made me see some other critical things that I'm going to face in life. For example I might have to face the fact that I'll be a slave forever, putting myself to work just to earn enough for the liabilities and assets. Even if my pay is 10K, my standards of living will just increase to suit that level. Very practical indeed, so stupid cycle.

Need to snap out from this and think straight soon or I'll enter the first depression of my life, I think I need more of my REM cycle.